Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding. Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
I'm one of the few people who actually dug the Tim Burton / Marky Mark Walberg version of the Planet of the Apes, and was quite disappointed when a sequel never took shape. Rise of the Planet of Apes exceeded my expectations, James Franco wasn't half bad, the animated apes weren't as unrealistic as I thought they'd be, and the writers actually did a good job of mixing emotion into the film. The only real negative is it's a little long winded at times, but definitely a worthy reboot to the series, hopefully this time they'll actually follow it up with a sequel. 8/10
Clash of the Titans (2010)
Never having seen much of the original 1981 version I can't comment on any comparison of quality or entertainment, although the original had Ursula Andress which isn't too shabby. But like most modern day remakes this version is definitely more flashy, and more explosive, it's your typical popcorn action film that most genre fans should enjoy. My only complaint is regarding Medusa, if she can only turn men into stone how does her head turn the kraken into stone... it's not a man... (7/10)
The Grey (2011)
As a Liam Neeson fan I wanted to like The Grey, but the film falters on so many levels that it's embarrassing. First off 95% of the dialogue is cursing, which is automatically a red flag that no one bothered to put together a script or story with any substance. Second the characters are so mind-numbingly annoying (in part due to the script, or lack there of) that you never care what happens to them, in fact you look forward to them getting picked off one by one so you don't have to see or hear them any longer. Third the film is way too long considering the quality of the script, with a plot that is incredibly one dimensional. And fourth, while the wolf attacks are pretty suspenseful they are so over-the-top absurd that the film quickly ceases to be minutely realistic and resembles a bad slasher film, but this is worse considering The Grey is actually trying to take itself seriously. (3/10)
Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding. Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.
Maroc 7 (1967)
As far as Euro-spy films go Maroc 7 isn't half bad, sure the story is ridiculous, the acting pretty awful and the twists somewhat predictable at times, but it's essentially a sub genre of B-movie so this is all something you should expect ahead of time. For me entertainment is the key to these films and does it keep a brisk pace and hold your attention? Maroc 7 ticked all those boxes for me, I was pleasantly surprised. You can check it out on Netflix Instant. 7/10
Society (1989)
Society is bizarre, for me that was about the only thing that kept me watching. Actually a majority of the film it's a pretty decent horror / mystery as a kid begins to feel out of place in his snobby family and their social network. But the final twenty minutes where everyone turns to putty and starts sucking on each other takes it all to a whole other level of bizarreness, for me that's when the film went from mildly entertaining to a blatant attempt to gross out viewers. It all doesn't add anything to the story and the fact they drag it out for so long seems to suggest they were grasping at straws for an ending and settled on any sort of shock value they could get as it adds nothing more to the film than that. Throw in the hot young Devin DeVasquez and Society is good for the first hour. 6/10
Five Golden Dragons (1967)
Five Golden Dragons is the type of Euro-spy film that's a chore to sit through. Between losing interest and falling asleep it took me a total of three individual sittings to make it through this and when it was all said and done I still couldn't figure out the point of the film. First off the film's plot and purpose was pretty vague and pointless, what's a guy from the US Treasury doing attempting to infiltrate and mob organization based in China? Second Robert Cummings in the lead only added to this film's pathetic existence, Euro-spy films are corny enough on their own, Cummings simply made it unbearable. Imagine a second rate Dick Van Dyke in a wannabe James Bond film and that's what you have here. The only real positive aspect I can comment on is the rest of the cast was pretty good, and in a better film would have brought something to the table, a lot of familiar cult icons such as Margaret Lee (who sings, easily the highlight), Klaus Kinski, Christopher Lee, and Maria Perschy. 3/10
Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding. Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.
Satanik (1968)
A badly deformed doctor gets a new lease on life with a formula that restores her beauty, but the effects are only temporary and the side effects deadly! Satanik is an odd mixture of Euro-crime meets horror, yet never the less the catchy soundtrack and the stunning Magda Konopka (also known for her smaller role in When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth) make this one a decent view for any fan of Italian cult cinema. 7/10
Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)
A small California town is struck with a series of strange deaths that appear to have been caused by over exertion during intimate relations. Seems the town is resident to a lovely female with queen bee DNA and she's transforming the city's female population and taking out all the men! Invasion of the Bee Girls is about as B-movie as it gets. Nothing says B-movie more than this completely ridiculous plot that makes absolutely no sense, extremely campy dialog, multiple scenes of nudity, and the overly bizarre bee women transformation sequence where the victim is covered in pancake batter, zapped with radiation and stuck in a chamber where they're covered in bees. Despite the fact they emerge as man killing bee women, the process seems to be quite a proficient external makeover! The highlight of the film is easily cult B-movie actress Anitra Ford, whose catalog of roles is pretty limited to mostly TV series guest appearances and a few other cheesy roles. She plays sultry head queen bee who moonlights as a scientist, I got a kick out of the fact her character wears sun-glasses all the time inside and even at night, yet everyone is too stupid to bother to comment on this or her other bizarre activities, I guess beauty trumps bizarre. The film also co-stars another When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth veteran, Victoria Vetri, in a rather odd role for her as a scientist. 6/10
The Velvet Vampire (1971)
Vampire films are a dime a dozen, and B-movie vampire films are simply too numerous to count, but I've yet to see one more bizarre than The Velvet Vampire, which can be the only explanation why I actually sat through the entire 80 minutes of this truly horrible film. Basic premise, attractive woman (a vampire) ventures into the big city and invites a young unsuspecting couple to her desert getaway where she toys with them before going in for the kill. Just the idea of a vampire living in the desert breaks almost all the rules of the generational myths. Aside from that the story is extremely pointless, plodding and the main characters extremely annoying. Only positive thing I can say is the Thai movie poster for this film is fantastic, so the film's existence isn't a complete waste. 3/10
Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding. Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.
The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
A film I was looking forward to seeing back in mid 2010 when they first started showing previews, then they stopped promoting it and I never heard anything about it again until it was finally released earlier this year and seemingly flopped in the theaters. It actually ended up being quite a good science fiction thriller, an odd combination of The Matrix, Dark City, and Inception. Matt Damon is always an excellent choice for these types of "on the run" thrillers, and although the plot requires a little bit of suspended belief if you can get past them you'll find a highly entertaining film. 8/10
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Another old school classic cult film that benefited from the pre-CGI days of Hollywood film making. It's the look and the classic style of special effects that make a film like this hold up thirty years later. The acting is absolutely horrible most of the time, and the film's continuous dose of comedy and catchy pop tunes sometimes overshadows scenes that were obviously meant to be somewhat scary, but I still found myself fairly well entertained. Throw in the lovely Jenny Agutter and the continuous popping up of the main character's decomposing best friend and An American Werewolf in London is definitely one of those cult classics earns it's reputation. 7/10
An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)
This is what happens when you attempt to recreate the success of a 1980's cult classic without any of the same ingrediants that made the original work. This film has the quality of a direct to DVD release, so imagine my shock when I learned the budget for this film was actually 22 million! Where did all that money go? I assume it all went into the horrible CGI werewolves which stand out like sore thumbs. They might have been able to churn this film out quicker going the CGI route, but when the original grossed more on a 10 million dollar budget and is an overall a far superior film, was it worth it? Everything from the quality of the filming to the insanely stupid storyline, bad acting and script make this one a pointless mess. You simply can't duplicate classic cult films by cutting corners and replacing early special effects with computer graphics, it's never worked and it never will. 3/10
Every once in a while I take a risk and watch one of my favorite actor's/actress’s earlier films, for the lone reason that they are in it, more often than not this decision circles around and swiftly kicks me in the rear, a majority of the time their earlier films are unheard of for a reason. Naomi Watts in Strange Planet is no exception. The only strange thing about this film is where the writers seemed to have gotten the idea for it in the first place.
The film follows two separate groups of friends who live in Sidney, Australia. All of them have one thing in common, they don't have anyone who loves them. So from the beginning of the film, (which is also the beginning of the new year) until the end, (which is the end of that year), these six people screw their lives up looking for someone to love them, and in the end SURPRISE find each other! The predictability of the film is obvious, especially when the group of guys end up sporadically running into the girl’s storyline by pure fate. Once you realize a pairing between the girls group and the guys group is going to happen it’s pretty easy to figure out who will end up with whom simply because their personalities and past experiences are almost identical.
Now on to the strange part, they kept trying to focus on an episode of the Twilight Zone where some astronauts land on a "strange planet", all go insane, kill each other, and then the lone survivor discovers that they hadn't crashed on another planet but back on Earth. Now the point of this to the film confuses me, and to the best of my ability the only way I can find a correlation is to the fact that the two groups feel isolated and believe there is no one out there for them. When in the end there ends up being three people who where not far away. I love the Twilight Zone but that whole correlation didn't work very well in my opinon.
Strange Planet ends up getting old fast, even an hour and thirty minutes was too long. The acting was sub-par, even Naomi Watts lines were horrible. Another familiar face is Hugo Weaving from Lord of the Rings and The Matrix, this is the first times I have actually seen him play a rather normal character with emotions. In the end, the film has a few comedic points, mainly being those with the character of Neil who can't even get the nerves to talk to women but constantly spits out facts about them he has read in Cosmo, which is hilarious; but for the most part the film falls too short of a decent TV movie that big fans of Naomi Watts wouldn't even find very entertaining.
Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding. Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.
The Other Guys (2010)
The Other Guys walks a fine line between comedy and repetition, while most of the jokes are constantly recycled (TLC references, the confusion of Eva Mendes being Ferrell's hot wife, and homeless people getting it on in Ferrell's Prius) ironically manage to remain mildly amusing. But the only way this film really succeeds is the backing power of the supporting cast, Michael Keaton, The Rock, Samuel L Jackson, Eva Mendes and a few others who make the tired out comedy of Will Ferrell work, combined with a rather angry Mark Wahlberg whose not as funny as he could be. Average comedy, yet one of the more entertaining films Ferrell has been apart of in years. 7/10
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A Christmas Carol (2009)
If A Christmas Carol isn't the most retold story and remade film in history I'd like to know what is. For children not familiar with the classic Charles Dickens tale this flashy CGI rendition might tickle their fancy, but for myself other than being impressed with the looks of this first CGI rendition of the story I was mildly bored by the film as a whole. The pace of the story can be extremely slow moving, and when it finally speeds up it's all simply to showcase some fancy CGI technology, which may appeal to the kids but really adds nothing to the story. If you're looking for a worth while modern CGI Christmas story I suggest Zemeckis's much higher quality piece, The Polar Express. 6/10
The Losers (2010)
It's an extremely rare occurrence for me to find a big budget action film to be almost unwatchable. That was the case with Shoot 'Em Up in 2007 and that's the case now with The Losers, a title which fairly represents the quality of this film. The first thing I'd like to know is who decided Jeffery Dean Morgan had star power? I couldn't stand the guy as Sam and Dean's father in the hit show Supernatural and I certainly can't stand him in big budget films. That's the first problem with The Losers, horrible casting. Second the script is awful; have we not yet learned that graphic novel adaptations don't equal quality entertainment? While I usually like Chris Evans and Zoe Saldana there's not much they or even an extremely talented veteran action star could do with this mess. To put it simply, a direct to DVD Steven Seagal film has a better story, cast and performances. 3/10
Some franchises simply shouldn't be tampered with because attempting to duplicate success in another form is usually only a recipe for disaster, a lesson easily learned by watching the bizarre attempt to turn the James Bond story Casino Royale into a comedy. To attempt to explain or even understand what this film is about is a fruitless endeavor, not even the films own cast understood it. Barbara Bouchet who played Moneypenny is quoted as saying...
British humor at it's best (or worse) depending on how juvenile you feel or enjoy a good repetitive orgy joke. Up Pompeii has a bunch of one sided one liners that can get old fast, faster than the screen time of Julie Ege, who let's admit from the promotional photos is the reason most people want to watch this.
It's a very rare occasion that a film manages to insult me. Not insult me in terms of subject matter or content, but insult me in terms of drawing me into a story, leading me on for over an hour and then giving me absolutely nothing but a twisted conclusion which goes absolutely nowhere and essentially proves to me that the hour and a half I invested was a complete waste of time. It's as close to being violated as I've ever come, and it's not a pleasant feeling.
Triangle is a film I stumbled upon when it was first released on DVD, Melissa George in creepy thriller/horror I thought would be worth checking out. I promptly added it do my Netflix queue but never got around to watching it. Then a few months back while perusing some blogs I follow this film came up on someone's Top 10 of 2009 so I figured I'd finally check it out see if it was worth such praise. Mind you this list was on a blog which more or less specializes in reviews of bad or rare films, so that probably should have been a blatant warning sign, but I trekked on.
On the surface (and really as a whole) Triangle isn't much of a crowning achievement in anything. The film starts out with a group of people going sailing, one of those passengers being Jess (Melissa George) who seems entirely out of it, but as we soon learn she's a single mother with an autistic son and this is simply a much needed break from reality. Eventually they all get stuck in an electrical storm, the boat capsizes, one person is lost at sea and when it's all over they find themselves stranded in the middle of the ocean sitting on-top of the capsized boat. Miraculously a cruise ship comes sailing by and the group believe themselves to be saved, but oddly enough there's no one on the ship.
Up to this point we're already about 30 minutes into film and nothing remotely exciting or thrilling regarding whatever the plot is supposed to be has occurred, but I'm holding on for the inevitable killer that's surely lurking in the shadows of the deserted cruise ship. Of course common sense never enters these people's minds that it's not normal to have an empty cruise ship floating around and nobody on it, frankly I would have taken a life boat and taken my chances on the ocean, but what's a ridiculous horror film if you start rationally thinking? Now 45 minutes in and finally there's a killer, and this is when the film starts getting bizarre, not bizarre in a good way but in an extremely annoying way as Jess discovers who the killer is and finds herself stuck in a continuous loop.
Jess is the only passenger to survive, and after everyone else is killed it all begins again with the shipwrecked crew climbing on the cruise ship along with enough another copy of herself, and the Groundhog Day / Back To The Future II effect continues on for 30 minutes until all forms of excessive scene re-looping is exhausted. Of course Jess never thinks to confront herself to help her figure out what's going on or to prevent the murders, no that would be too rational, she avoids herself and confronts the other passengers which only makes her appear more crazy to them. In an attempt to not spoil the very thin plot of the film for those of you crazy enough to want to watch it, the basic explanation of the what's going on is actually referenced briefly once they board the cruise ship and discover that it's named Aeolus. Aeolus was referred to as the Greek god of the wind and the father of Sisyphus (and the secret meaning behind the film).
While there may be a meaning to this film's madness, I found myself not caring by the end. The main aspects of the film are nothing new, empty cruise ship, time lapsing, none of it is original. Aside from no originality the film takes way to long to get moving, it's 45 minutes into the film before anything related to the plot begins to happen, then it's 30 minutes of the same scenes rehashed over and over again from different perspectives. And while the ending brings a little explanation to the madness there's never closure, there's never satisfaction, and I only felt insulted that I sat through 90 minutes of what became self inflicted torture just to discover if there wasn't any real point to this film. In the end, Triangle is one of those films I have absolutely no respect for because it leads you on to believe there's something actually worth while behind it all, when it's simply the portrayal of someone's personal Hell, kind of like what this film was for me.
Let me first get this out of the way, I don't like Rob Schneider. For that matter I think 99.9% of the newer Saturday Night Live cast member who "try" to movie careers simply end up wasting film. The only Saturday Night Live cast members who ever had successful movie careers and descent films was the early cast, Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray and a few others. The .01% of decent newer cast members (decent in the since their films make good money) would include Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell, but other than that the rest of these "comedians" put out one horrible comedy after another that would barely hold up as a 5 minute sketch. Sorry if that is too blunt for some of you, but there should be a law that "actors" such as Rob Schneider should not be allowed to make films, unless they are going to actually put out something of quality. So your probably wondering why I watched this... well I watched it because Rachel McAdams, who sadly is only in the film for maybe fifteen minutes, and only listed second on the credits to sell DVDs.
The Hot Chick is about a prissy high school cheerleader named Jessica, played by Rachel McAdams, similar to her Mean Girls role but very much more toned down in comparison. Jessica isn't as brutal and evil has her Mean Girls counterpart but she is still a semi-brat. Jessica gets her hands on some magical earrings causing her to switch bodies with any person in possession of the one of the earrings. Rob, plays a thief and is robbing the local gas station when Jessica and her friends come along, Jessica drops one of the earrings and Rob ends up picking it up and putting it on, giving Jessica the body of Rob, and Rob the body of Jessica. The rest of the film consists of Jessica (as Rob) trying to get her body back and what caused this transformation.
To sum this film up in a sentence, it consists of Rob constantly pulling down his pants and acting gay. The film is so poorly written that it's basically a merry-go-round of the lame jokes and awkward situations occurring, like Rob pulling his pants down, the half black half Korean girl's mom embarrassing her daughter or Adam Sandler making a cameo banging the drums and talking about weed. The acting is horrible, Jessica's best friend April (Anna Faris) was annoying as always and no different from every other character she's ever played, completely ditsy. Even the cameo appearances where horrible, but what do you expect when most of them are low rate TV sitcom stars. It's sad when Matt Lawrence gives the best acting performance out of everyone. Rachel does a decent job, but her character simply isn't very convincing as a really stuck up person.
Overall this film falls very short, the funny parts such as the pillow fight, the dance floor scene and a couple others couldn't save it. It's simply too repetitious and I really got tired of Rob pulling his pants down and talking about his "little rob". I would have liked to have seen more of Rachel’s character as Rob in Jessica's body and less of Jessica in Rob's body. In the end, the few short minutes of good scenes and Rachel’s limited appearance couldn't get me to give this a favorable rating... sorry Rachel, but hey its one of her first film appearances so I guess what should I except, you take what you can get.
Not many have probably seen or heard of this film but surprisingly enough it actually brought in around 17 million dollars in the box office, sure that's not a lot but for this film that is pretty impressive considering how bad it was. Only thing I can attribute those sales amounts too is the now dwindling fan base of Freddie Prinze Jr, who is now more likely to be seen on VH1's, Where Are They Now? The only reason I even bothered renting this film was Jessica Biel. After seeing her in The Illusionist I thought I'd give some of her other films a shot. Supposedly this is a romantic comedy, if that's true it's the worst romantic comedy I have ever seen.
Freddie Prinze Jr. is Ryan Dunn a local of Cape Cod and an aspiring major league baseball player. Cape Cod is home to the one of the elite baseball league's which turns out multiple major league stars each season. It's an extreme privilege to be asked to participate and after screwing up some good opportunities in his college career Ryan gets the once in a life-time opportunity to show what he's got, and this is his last chance.
Ryan is an extremely talented pitcher, but he's got a lot of baggage. His brother was an aspiring baseball player but couldn't cut it and now is a bartender in the local dive. His father is also a relative failure in his eyes, as he mows the lawns of all the rich people’s summer homes, something Ryan has been helping him out with as well. To make matters worse the recent death of his mother only made him even more depressed and it was easy to see that Ryan had lost a lot of faith in himself and his talent.
All this self doubt was not helping Ryan at all on the baseball field as an excellent first few innings would soon turn into a fight against himself to play the game he thought he could. It doesn't take much for Ryan to get himself down and soon he's accepting that he might just be cutting peoples lawns for the rest of his life, that is until he meets Tenley Parrish (Jessica Biel). A daughter of one of the rich summer home owners whose lawn he cuts, Ryan and Tenley seem to instantly fall in love. Things appear to be going well until Ryan discovers Tenley has never mentioned him to her father, and it's not a surprise that her father doesn't approve of Tenley dating the lawn boy and this extra drama doesn't help Ryan out much with his already towering problems. With the last game of the season quickly approaching Ryan has one last chance to turn his flip flop season into something special and save his relationship with the girl he loves.
The main problem with Summer Catch is it's a combination of three genres that are each horribly assembled. Summer Catch isn't a romantic comedy; it's crappy teen comedy meets The Rookie, meets Fox Family channel romantic comedy. The crappy teen comedy comes from too many stupid scenes involving Ryan’s teammates who are simply moronic, crude, and add nothing to the film but only bogs down an already horrible story. The Rookie part of the story is really the meat of the film, with Ryan trying to make it into the major leagues. This aspect of the film is so poorly written you never feel sorry for the character and almost turns into a more The Benchwarmers quality story than a heart felt drama. Finally you have the romance side which is the smallest piece in this film. It's the typical story of poor boy falls for rich girl and daddy doesn't like it, but it's again so poorly executed that it feels more like it was thrown into the story simply to have a reason to have a few nice shots of Jessica Biel.
In the end, Summer Catch isn't worth thinking about watching, Jessica Biel was the only good thing in the film and she only had a couple of nice scenes. The chemistry between the characters was horrible and the love story between Prinze and Biel didn't seem remotely legit and was always thrown in on random occassions. Freddie Prinze Jr. is very sub par as an actor and even less believable as a baseball player. Even the last ten minutes, which are the best in the film, it can't pull itself out of the deep pit that it dug itself into. If your looking for a good baseball film or romantic comedy it's no where close to here, and frankly this movie makes a Disney Channel Original Movie, look like Oscar worthy material.
One would think a film only starring Russell Crowe and Salma Hayek (there literally are no other characters in this film) would at least be interesting. But watching an in and out relationship between two confused people simply didn't to it for me.
Steve and Monica started their relationship on a blissful high, but after two plus years of dating reality started to set in. Sex seemed to be the only thing holding their relationship together, the rest of the time seemed to be made up of petty arguments. Finally the two decided to split up, but that didn't last long, they soon got back together during a night of passion which ended in an argument and another breakup. Steve finally comes to the decision that they need to get married, maybe then they can finally get on with their lives and stop fooling around. But is marriage really going to solve a relationship that seems to have some brutal foundational issues?
Breaking Up is like the film adaptation of that friend of yours whose relationship seems to be made of breaking up and making up over and over again with the same person. At least one of the people in the relationship never seems to be willing to make a commitment, yet being without the other person in their life seems to make them completely lost. That seems to be Steve's MO, he seems to be the one whose always instigating the arguments or backing out of the commitments. But that doesn't take off any of the blame from Monica who seems to be more than willing to put up with it all and keep coming back, only to break up all over again.
In a sense Breaking Up is a decent look into the life of two screwed up people who really seem to have more of a lust for one another than any real sort of love. If any true love exists in the relationship it's overshadowed by the couple's complete lack of respect for one another or complete immaturity. Call this film lesson in life and relationships, but calling it entertainment is a bit of a stretch. Ultimately this film left me bored, while Crowe and Hayek give good performances it's pretty much wasted on a story that goes completely no where, and when you're tied down to only two characters with no supporting cast you're ultimately also stuck in this couples dead end relationship which has no hope.
I'm a big fan of romantic comedies, probably because I wish meeting that "perfect" someone could be as easy as it's portrayed in the movies. I guess I'm a sucker for a sappy romantic comedy, waiting for my own Kate Beckinsale to bump into me in a department store while we both grab the last pair of gloves (a la Serendipity)...yea it sounds pretty corny but if it only it could be that easy. Point being I'm a big fan of a good romantic comedy, one that is not only entertaining but revolves around something that hasn't been done before, which now a days is hard to find in this genre. Gray Matters definitely fits the profile of "different" but it's so off the wall unrealistic that the film ends up becoming a mess, and there's nothing worse than a bad romantic comedy.
Somewhere within this movie might have been a decent idea. I actually enjoyed the start of the film which focused more on Sam and Charlie, too bad they didn't carry that forward and make the film about them. Instead it goes off on the wild tangent of Gray falling for her brother's wife and it feels entirely out of place. Bridget Moynahan is smoking hot in this film and there's a couple shots of her from the behind that almost make the pain of watching this worth while, but still it's not worth sitting through this film, which quickly tanks when Gray attempts to come to grips with her feelings. The subject matter doesn't make for an entertaining romantic comedy, Heather Graham isn't a great actress, and the film isn't even funny a majority of the time. In the end, it's a Women's Entertainment or Oxygen type cable film that boasts only a nice shot of Bridget's tight butt (which is shown above to save anyone the time of watching this).
First off I must say I am dreading watching and reviewing this month's 1001 Movie Club selections. In the first two months there was at least one selection I found myself remotely enjoying, but this time around I feel it might be my lowest four film average in the brief club history thus far. So bear with my ultimate bitter distaste of the upcoming movie club reviews throughout the week, most of these reviews will probably be quite brief.
Let me start my review by prefacing that I have never liked Woody Allen, as a person, as a director, as a writer, and especially as an actor. In my opinon he's an incredibly ornate acquired taste, and it's a taste that my palate just cannot digest. I've seen two Woody Allen film's in the past, Scoop (which I didn't think was all that bad) and Small Time Crooks(which I was split on). Like a large percentage of his films Woody Allen stars as the lead character in Manhattan. Allen plays Issac a frantic TV show writer whose ex-wife divorced him for another woman, he's dating a seventeen year old girl, and falling for his best friend's mistress... how's that for screwed up!?! Well none of its really a stretch for Allen considering the guy married his adoptive daughter!
To be completely honest and brutally frank, Manhattan was completely uninteresting to me, I wouldn't go as far to say boring but I would venture to guess uninteresting is in the same ballpark. I cared nothing about the characters, and I cared nothing about their ridiculous situations or screwed up lives. Chalk this up to once again another film that receives unbelievable praise for following around people who are responsible for their own messed up lives. Lives that really aren't all that interesting either, where's the entertainment here? Are our lives that dull and meaningless that watching someone else's mundane life is entertaining? What sets this "story-line" apart from something I might find in Manhattan myself by randomly following around a couple of people for a week? What's the difference? Where's the flare? What's the point?
My main problem with Woody Allen is he's annoying, and shouldn't be acting, unfortunately he sticks himself as the lead in about half his film's so you're forced to endure a performance that is the exact replicate of every character he's ever done, a fast talking loser who rarely says anything worth listening to. There should be an unwritten rule in film making, if you're considered a director by trade then you shouldn't act. You don't see Steven Spielberg or Ridley Scott starring in their own films, why not? Because they're not actors, if they could act that's probably what they'd be doing instead of directing. Are their people in the world who actually find Woody Allen to be a great actor? If so please explain to me why, because I don't see it. In the end, Manhattan didn't do it for me, I'm really not even sure what exactly it was supposed to do! But I'll give it some props for a few good shots of New York City and some outstanding musical scores which I've heard many times before but never knew what film they came from.
I'm looking for the following Barbara Bouchet films. Any help locating them would be much appreciated, and would assist me in watching and reviewing her entire filmography. You can contact me through the contact button near the top of the page! Thanks.
