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Bond Secret File #17 - Goldeneye

Introduction: 5/10
On its own, the introduction to Goldeneye would possibly be something awesome but in comparison to intros of the past it was all too cable TV spy film of the week for me. It gives a descent back-story to the plot of the film by introducing Bond's partner and friend who he watches die, but discovers seven years later is still alive and behind the Goldeneye takeover. Personally I saw no real "bond" between these two characters and having Bond go on a mission with another 00 agent is completely uncharacteristic to past films.

Title Song: 8/10
Ironically the best thing about this film is the theme song, mainly because its vibe hearkens back to the days when the Bond theme songs where incredibly good. The Goldeneye theme isn't "golden" but it definitely gives a majority of the Bond theme songs a run for their money. What I liked most about it is it almost has a Goldfinger vibe to it, and the music isn't soft rock or disco like some of the previous ones. The Goldeneye theme is performed by Tina Turner.

See reflections on the water, more than darkness in the depths, see him surface in every shadow; on the wind I feel his breath.

Goldeneye, I've found his weakness. Goldeneye, you'll do what I please. Goldeneye, no time for sweetness. But a bitter kiss will bring him to his knees.

You'll never know how I watched you from the shadows as a child. You'll never know how it feels to be the one who's left behind. You'll never know the days, the nights, the tears, the tears I’ve cried, but now my time has come, and time, time is not on your side.

See him move through smoke and mirrors, feel his presence in the crowd. Other girls they gather round him, if I had him I wouldn't let him out.

Goldeneye, not lace or leather, golden chains take him to the spot. Goldeneye, I'll show him forever, it’ll take forever to see what I got.

You'll never know how I watched you from the shadows as a child, you’ll never know how it feels to get so close and be denied. It's a gold and honey trap I've got for you tonight. Revenge, it's a kiss, this time I won't miss; now I've got you in my sights.

With a Goldeneye. Golden, goldeneye. With a goldeneye. Goldeneye.

Bond: 6/10
I believe I aired most of my grievances about Pierce Brosnan's first stance as James Bond in the main review, but if you don't remember what I said or failed to grasp my thinking the first time, let me quickly refresh. The problem with Brosnan in this film is he doesn't have the presence that makes him believable in this role. Basically it's as if he's in another film attempting to impersonate James Bond, instead of letting the role come naturally and throwing his own flavor into it. He's trying too hard to incorporate the great qualities of the previous Bond's into his role and it comes across as quite forced.

Bond Girl:

Natalya Fyodorovna Simonova: 6/10 
Natalya is one of the programmers at the Severnaya Space Control Centre and the sole surviving witness of its destruction by General Arkady Grigorovich Ourumov who steals the Goldeneye control unit. She meets Bond when they both captured by Bond's old friend Alec, after escaping she becomes Bond's key to stopping Alec from using the Goldeneye on London. Natalya is a little unique to the series in the sense that she's a more serious Bond girl. On average the Bond girls are pretty and dense, but she's quite independent and able to take care of herself. While she's more serious she also borderlines on being quite dull and boring at times, so I guess this is one of those situations where you can't have your cake and eat it too!

The Villains:

Alec Trevelyan: 6/10
Former MI6 agent and friend/partner to James Bond. Bond thinks Trevelyan is dead but seven years later he finds out otherwise. When Alec resurfaces he explains to Bond his reason for defecting... revenge. He was finally in a position where he could enact vengeance for his parents who had been murdered by the British. To make this happen he planned to completely wipe out the British economy by targeting London with the Goldeneye weapon and completely erasing all electronic records! Trevelyan is a descent villain, but once again in comparison to past rivals he doesn't match up. Sean Bean works well as a villain in films like Flightplan and National Treasure, but in a Bond film you need a villain that's a little unique, a little strange Trevelyan is run of the mill.

Xenia Zaragevna Onatopp: 5/10
I was excited to see Famke Janssen is this film, and then quickly disappointed when she turned out not only to be a Bond villain but a really bad one. Xenia is the type of woman you don't want to cross; beautiful and deadly. Her weapon is her legs, yes and while they may be slender and lovely she'll wrap them around you and strangle you in minutes. Personally, I found the character to be rather lame with a horrible Russia accent and acting like she was getting some short of sensual pleasure out of strangling people with her legs was quite frankly bizarre. What a waste of Famke Janssen, she would have made a better Bond girl.

Total Rating : 6/10
Overall (Including Film Rating) : 5.5/10


  1. "...but now my time has come, and time, time is not on your side..."

    oH, how I love the GOLDENEYE song!

  2. Yes, it's the best thing about this film.


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