Private Resort (1985)

Originally Reviewed
Tuesday May 29, 2007

Browsing around on Netflix's "watch now" feature, which allows you to watch a large selection of films in DVD quality off the internet, I came across Private Resort. I'm not a fan of these types of teen films because they are usually completely stupid, 99% about sex, contain absolutely no story and have horrible acting. Well that pretty much sums up this film as well, but the only reason I bothered watching some of it was because it starred a very young Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow in their acting debut (2nd film for Depp). It was quite interesting to see both these now talented actors at a young age before they had any talent.

Private Resort this about two pals Ben (Morrow) and Jack (Depp) spending a few days at a Florida resort with the main goal of hooking up with some hot chicks. Unfortunately for them they seem to have more success in hooking up with trouble as they spend most of the film being chased by a jewel thief, hotel security and a cheating boyfriend. The film's plot is absolutely ridiculous, which isn't a surprise, and the fact that Morrow and Depp look like they are sixteen makes everything that happens in the film completely outrageous (strangely enough they were both in their 20's when this was made!) But of course these films don't attempt to make sense or stay consistent. Private Resort is basically made up of breasts and rear ends which you'll get plenty of and if your looking to see Depp's butt or Rob Morrow running around practically naked for five minutes you'll get that too. As for acting, Depp and Morrow are both quite horrible but what do you expect from their first film? Although if anything this should be some hope to actors nowadays typecast into these roles, it is possible to break free if you gain some talent, since both actors have moved on to substantial careers.

Overall, Private Resort is a classic example of how the teen comedy genre hasn't changed one bit in 22 years. The film has a few humorous moments such as the drugged out surfer dude who appears throughout the film with his heavy surfer accent saying stupid things but still being utterly hilarious and I also found the scenes where the grandma is beating up the jewel thief to be quite hilarious as well. In the end, it's not a film worth paying money to rent, but if you happen to catch in on TV or have the Netflix "watch now" feature available to you it might be worth checking out a few minutes to see a very young Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow. 

5/10