Cliff Note Reviews #10

Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding.  Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.

Satanik (1968)

A badly deformed doctor gets a new lease on life with a formula that restores her beauty, but the effects are only temporary and the side effects deadly!  Satanik is an odd mixture of Euro-crime meets horror, yet never the less the catchy soundtrack and the stunning Magda Konopka (also known for her smaller role in When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth) make this one a decent view for any fan of Italian cult cinema. 7/10

Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

A small California town is struck with a series of strange deaths that appear to have been caused by over exertion during intimate relations.  Seems the town is resident to a lovely female with queen bee DNA and she's transforming the city's female population and taking out all the men!  Invasion of the Bee Girls is about as B-movie as it gets.  Nothing says B-movie more than this completely ridiculous plot that makes absolutely no sense, extremely campy dialog, multiple scenes of nudity, and the overly bizarre bee women transformation sequence where the victim is covered in pancake batter, zapped with radiation and stuck in a chamber where they're covered in bees.  Despite the fact they emerge as man killing bee women, the process seems to be quite a proficient external makeover!  The highlight of the film is easily cult B-movie actress Anitra Ford, whose catalog of roles is pretty limited to mostly TV series guest appearances and a few other cheesy roles.  She plays sultry head queen bee who moonlights as a scientist, I got a kick out of the fact her character wears sun-glasses all the time inside and even at night, yet everyone is too stupid to bother to comment on this or her other bizarre activities, I guess beauty trumps bizarre.   The film also co-stars another When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth veteran, Victoria Vetri, in a rather odd role for her as a scientist.   6/10

The Velvet Vampire (1971)

Vampire films are a dime a dozen, and B-movie vampire films are simply too numerous to count, but I've yet to see one more bizarre than The Velvet Vampire, which can be the only explanation why I actually sat through the entire 80 minutes of this truly horrible film.  Basic premise, attractive woman (a vampire) ventures into the big city and invites a young unsuspecting couple to her desert getaway where she toys with them before going in for the kill.  Just the idea of a vampire living in the desert breaks almost all the rules of the generational myths.  Aside from that the story is extremely pointless, plodding and the main characters extremely annoying.  Only positive thing I can say is the Thai movie poster for this film is fantastic, so the film's existence isn't a complete waste.  3/10