The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Originally Written

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I believe I have officially discovered a film that could be comparably worse than most American horror films... a British one! In browsing through the Netflix assortment of Hugh Grant films I stumbled upon The Lair of the White Worm. A horror film starring a young Hugh Grant that almost appeared too corny to pass up, well I should have passed it up!

When Scottish archaeologist Angus Flint discovers an intriguing skull buried beneath the earth strange things begin to occur within the village. People begin to disappear suddenly and it all appears to be surrounding the lore of a large white worm and the Lady Sylvia Marsh. Lord James D'Ampton (Hugh Grant) soon discovers that Marsh is a member of a cult who worships the worm, which his ancestors long ago had killed. Unfortunately the worm is still alive and trapped within an ancient cave. James and Angus must stop Marsh from releasing the worm and reeking havoc on their small town.

I almost couldn't write a review for this one. For some reason I was originally very excited to watch this, being a big Hugh Grant fan, hoping that at the least this film would be so horrible that it would be hilarious, unfortunately that was not the case. After watching about 40 minutes I couldn't bring myself to waste anymore time. The plot is awful and bizarre, the acting is utterly atrocious and aside from the rock song near the start of the film about the tale of the worm the film isn't funny at all. Sadly it's not a film that's "so bad it's good" and the few people I have seen who claim this to be "classic" must have been highly intoxicated while watching it (although it's trippy enough in and of itself).

It was my plan to return to it later and attempt to finish it but like sour milk it ends up getting pushed back into the fridge until you finally toss it out. It's not the worst film I have ever seen but if I'm going to intentionally watch a crappy film for comedy's sake the film at least needs to be able to hold my attention and offer some form of entertainment, otherwise it's utterly pointless to watch. Overall, The Lair of the White Worm is another one of those extremely bizarre films that lacks any real intelligence and quickly loses its quirky vibe to become completely dull, boring and strange. Take my advice and stay away!

2/10