Cliff Note Reviews #1

Cliff Note Reviews is an ongoing series where I briefly state my thoughts on recent films I've watched but don't have the desire to create a full review surrounding.  Short and to the point opinions on films that might make decent weekend watchers when you have nothing else to do, films to completely stay away from, and occasionally a few highly recommended films that I simply don't feel need to be given a full review due to already overexposure.

Inception (2010)

Every year there's a couple films that everyone (critics and viewers alike) seem to overdue on the gush factor, Inception was one of those films. Initially I stayed away, usually over-hyped productions fail to impress me.  Inception is good, but far from the bandwagon of brilliance everyone seemed to be riding.  It's a more modern day The Matrix without the latex and "The One" talk, no where near as confusing and mind bending as everyone hyped it up to be, and in my opinon a little too long in the tooth.  For a fun popcorn film it's an above average thriller, but I was more impressed with Nolan's The Prestige in terms of suspense and mystery, and if you're looking for a film that really gives you a headache watch Stay.  8/10

The Wicker Man (1973)

Touted by some as one of the best horror films ever made, The Wicker Man is a cult B-movie horror that's certainly going to appeal to a select audience.  Aside from the performance of Christopher Lee and the all too brief appearance by another Hammer alumni, Ingrid Pitt, The Wicker Man seems to go nowhere for a span of 88 minutes which feels like over two hours!  It's rarely scary, hardly suspenseful, and concludes with an ending that is not only unsatisfying but quite aggravating.  4/10

The Wicker Man (2006)

The sequel to "one of the best horror films ever made" ends up being touted as "one of the worst films ever made."  Ironically I thought in terms of overall entertainment they're seemingly equal.  On the plus side this Nicolas Cage remake has something the original didn't, decent scenes of suspense that even while predictable kept the film moving at a viewable pace.  Also the film manages to not take itself seriously at all, which doesn't assist it in being any good, but allows for a few memorial scenes of amusing and incredibly awful overacting.  Unfortunately they opted for sticking with the original ending that still managed to leave the same sour taste in my mouth.  The original wins in ambiance the sequel wins in terms of flow, ultimately I disliked them both the same.   4/10

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Ingrid Pitt

Born: November 21, 1937
Died: November 23, 2010
Location: Poland
Quote: "It's great meeting the fans. They say I'm more beautiful now than I was 25 years ago. All lies of course, but sweet. Where else is an old bag like me going to find strapping young men and women to whisper sweet nothings in her ear?"
Named Answer's Classic Angel: November 28, 2010

The recent passing away of Hammer horror starlet Ingrid Pitt a few days ago was a sudden and simply strange occurrence for me.  It's once again another reminder of how short life is, one day you can be seemingly fine and the next day you could be knocking on death's door.  If anything this sudden passing of a beloved actress (even though she was in her 70's) is another opportunity to reflect our own lives and gauge what's truly important.  For me Ingrid's death was a strange occurrence in many ways; it was only two days after her birthday and only a few days after the release of a book which chronicled her complete career, a book in which the author made a point of stating he was in no way inferring her career was done, strangely enough it was.  Throw into the mix I'd just finished watching her in Where Eagles Dare and it rounds out a very odd combination of coincidences, as I happened to have Ingrid on the mind as of late.

With Ingrid's passing I thought it was about as good of time as any to give her the highest honor this humble blog can bestow and add her my list of classic actresses.  It was Ingrid in Countess Dracula who was my first introduction to Hammer horror a little over a year ago, and it's Vampire Lovers that currently ranks as my favorite Hammer horror.  Ingrid had a presence that was unmatched by any actress in Hammer's vast filmography to come before or after her.  She will always be known to her fans as the Queen of Hammer, and will forever be missed.

Interesting Tidbits:
- She lived in a Nazi concentration camp for thee years, surviving the Holocaust. 

- She grew up in East Berlin, escaped the internment camps to the West and married the man who helped her escape.

Hotness: 10/10
Ask any Hammer fan whose one of the hottest and talented actresses of the studios horror franchise (or the studios entire catalog of films for that matter) and I'd be surprised if Ingrid Pitt wasn't in their Top 5, if not their first choice.

Acting Rating: 8/10
The most unfortunate aspect of Pitt's career is her relatively small resume of roles, a list that has an even smaller amount of starring roles (I believe her two Hammer films were probably her largest roles).  Still in whatever she did Ingrid had the ability to produce an undeniable stage presence, making her my favorite actress of all the Hammer gals.

Filmography Rating: 5.5/10 (reviewed films are linked)

1. Sea of Dust (2008) ... Anna
2. Beyond the Rave (2008) ... Tooley's Mum
3. Minotaur (2006) ... The Leper
4. Dominator (2003) ... Lady Violator (voice)
5. Green Fingers (2000) ... Mrs. Bowen
6. The Asylum (2000) ... Isobella
7. Hanna's War (1988) ... Margit
8. Transmutations (1985) ... Pepperdine
9. Wild Geese II (1985) ... Hooker
10. The House (1984) ... Countess Von Eisen
11. Bones (1984) ... Widow
12. The Comedy of Errors (1983) ... Courtesan
13. Octopussy (1983) ... Galley Mistress (4/10)
14. The Final Option (1982) ... Helga
15. Artemis 81 (1981) ... Hitchcock Blonde
16. The Wicker Man (1973) ... Librarian (4/10)
17. Nobody Ordered Love (1972) ... Alice Allison
18. The House That Dripped Blood (1971) ... Carla Lind
19. Countess Dracula (1971) ... Countess Elisabeth Nodosheen (6/10)
20. The Vampire Lovers (1970) ... Marcilla / Carmilla / Mircalla Karnstein (8/10)
21. Where Eagles Dare (1968) ... Heidi
22. The Omegans (1968) ... Linda
23. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966) ... Courtesian (uncredited)
24. Un beso en el puerto (1966) ... Dorothy
25. Doctor Zhivago (1965) ... Extra (uncredited)
26. Chimes at Midnight (1965)
27. Sound of Horror (1964) ... Sofia Minelli 

 Overall Rating

7.8/10

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The Vampire Lovers (1970)

After a rather horrible experience with what turned out to be The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula, it was a pleasure to finally view a true Hammer horror masterpiece.  Almost every Hammer fan I've ran into ranks The Vampire Lovers somewhere on their top list of all-time Hammer films.  Still entering in I was a little weary that I might once again be the odd man out in a cult film that receives quite a bit of love, but I must say that The Vampire Lovers is the best Hammer film I've witnessed thus far.

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Ingrid Pitt

Last Updated - 2/15/11

Born: November 21, 1937 in Poland

Hammer film(s): The Vampire Lovers (1970); Countess Dracula (1971)

Other notable roles: The House That Dripped Blood (1971); The Wicker Man (1973)

Born Ingoushka Petro, Ingrid survived WWII after spending three years in a Nazi concentration camp, eventually escaping and marrying the man who assisted her.  She is most recognized for her roles in two Hammer films and a handful of other horror projects where she usually played a feisty vampire.

Hotness Rating: 10/10 
By far the hottest of the Hammer women I've seen thus far.

Acting Rating: 9/10 
For Hammer actresses she gives the best performance in The Vampire Lovers.  Her voice is dubbed in Countess Dracula, but her role and physical performance are the best aspect of that title.

Average Hammer Film Rating: 7/10
The Vampire Lovers is the highpoint of Ingrid's two film appear in the Hammer franchise, both high points in the films have to be due to Ingrid's presence, performance and beauty.

Recommended reading:

Overall Rating

8.7

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Countess Dracula (1971)

First up in my Hammer Holiday film-a-thon is my very first Hammer Horror, Countess Dracula.  I've only viewed two other Hammer films in the past (When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth & Viking Queen) both very boring and very disappointing, so I was pleased to receive a little reassurance with Countess Dracula that not all Hammer films are horrible.  From what little research I did Countess Dracula is not usually thought of as one of the best Hammer Horror films, in fact it's usually overlooked entirely by most people which seems to irritate some, so that gave me a little more hope for greater films to come.

First thing worth mentioning is Countess Dracula is not a vampire film.  Ingrid Pitt is the Countess Elisabeth Nodosheen, widow of a wealthy and well known Count who in his will has dispersed all his possessions leaving his wife with only half ownership of the castle, the other half going to their only daughter.  It's clear the Countess is angered by this, their daughter was shipped away to another country at a very young age so there is really no bond between her and the Countess, but things soon begin to look a little bit brighter when the she discovers a dark secret.

While "disciplining" one of her chamber maids, some of the maids' blood gets on the Countess's face and turns that portion of old weathered skin back to a youthful and smooth look!  Discovering this fountain of youth is too tempting for the Countess and she quickly has the chamber maid killed, drains her body of blood, and uses it to rejuvenate her entire body, completely transforming her into a few young and beautiful woman.  To keep her discovery a secret she presents herself to the rest of the castle as her own daughter, who was scheduled to return upon the Counts death.  Since her daughter had not been seen by anyone since she was a child it was not a hard disguise to pull off.  Her real daughter she had captured on her way to the castle so that her true identity would not be discovered.

With her new found youth the Countess falls in love with a young soldier, the son of her husband's best friend.  But she soon discovers the power of the blood is only temporary, and that once the effects wear off she looks older than she did before.  In order to maintain her youthful appearance she must have a constant supply of female virgin blood.  It's Captain Dobi, the Castle Steward and the Countesses long time lover who is burdened with the responsibility of caring out this task and disposing the bodies.  Dobi quickly begins to grow weary of assisting the Countess in this, not because they are killing innocent women but because she is throwing herself at this young solider instead of him.

Countess Dracula is supposedly based on the true story of Hungarian Countess Erzsebet Bathory who lived from 1560 to 1614.  She is referred to as one of the world's most infamous female serial killers, responsible for the deaths of what legend says was around 600 virgin girls all involving some form of gruesome torture.  Supposedly she is credited for influencing the idea of Dracula and the idea of gaining rejuvenation from the blood.  I don't know how much of that is true since I have always heard that Vlad the Impaler was actually the influence for Dracula, but either way Countess Bathory was quite evil and had a similar sadistic blood-lust.

Once again if you're looking for a vampire film you'll be sorely disappointed. This Countess only bathes in blood, she doesn't drink it, although if she had maybe her beauty would have lasted a bit longer.  The only time she's ever referred to as Countess Dracula is at the film's conclusion, so add all that together and you have a title that is a bit of false advertising.  Overall, I found Countess Dracula pretty entertaining, granted it's quite a simple story, but the performance Ingrid Pitt gives is quite good, she's gorgeous and the film does manage to have a slightly creepy vibe to it.  A few interesting tidbits about Ingrid Pitt in this role I saw on IMDb.com is that Pitt's voice was dubbed and supposedly she was so angry about this she vowed never to speak to the director again.  Also Diana Rigg (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) was originally offered the role of the Countess but she turned it down and the role went to Pitt, who actually looks a little like Rigg.  In the end, Countess Dracula is worth a look, the semi historical aspect of the film is both interesting and creepy but overall I think most fans of the Hammer franchise or bizarre period films will find something here.

6/10

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